I read a lot of self help books. I enjoy them and I guess I read them because I feel like I still need a lot of help. HA! But honestly even if we think we do, I don’t think we ever stop growing. We stagnate if we stop trying and stop learning. Just like in a stagnant pond, underneath the surface, there is still movement. Self help books encourage us to grow. Encourage us to ponder. Encourage us to be brave. However encouragement is one thing, but following through is another!
As a woman in my 50’s I feel like I am learning more and more about myself as I age, and grow in wisdom and life experiences. But, you can get stuck reading and analyzing and not DOING too. This is where I am at, right now. I am stuck!
I have so many dreams and ideas for helping women and being a warrior for women. I believe that these dreams and ideas are God inspired, but I also know that they will be in His timing. Just because I want to do something and feel the need to move forward does not mean that it is in God’s timing. So how do I wait on God? ……Patiently!
Ha! Trust me, I am not a patient person, but I also know that when I move without God’s help and try to do it in my own power, things usually do not go as smoothly as if I am working in His strength. Then, I ask myself if I am really just using God (eek!) as an excuse or is fear holding me back? Or is it unworthiness? Or is it lack of vision? Or is it too many ideas and I am paralyzed not knowing which idea is the best? Or is it execution anxiety? Honestly I think it is all of these combined. So how do I wait, but also move forward when I think it’s time?
First, I pray. I pray for direction. I pray for a sign. I pray for wisdom. And then I wait some more…..for answers. I can tell you it is lonely and frustrating, waiting and watching others do things that you wish you were doing. So instead of comparing (because comparing is counterproductive and ugly), I take a tentative step forward. I start to take action. When I get a sense that “it” is right, I move forward with bravado, with energy, with the assurance that God has me and that He will be with me as I step out in faith. Taking action in God’s will is exhilarating and inspiring. We know we are in God’s will when we are at peace with the action we are taking.
But if I know God is with me and He has got my back, what about all the other combinations of things, listed above that might be holding me back? This too is where I step out in faith and “do it scared”. Know that I am worthy because God’s Word says I am. God made me a dreamer and gave me vision to bring to others. God gave me the ideas and the brains to bring them into reality. I guess at the end of all of this, Trust is the key. Timing is everything. God has me!
- Lori Hurrell