When I started on this journey, I had one goal in mind: to create a resource that would allow people to feel comfortable in their own skin and encourage them to pursue their wildest dreams while keeping both feel planted firmly on the ground. Several years later, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been going through this process myself and 2020 has proven to the year that required me to get real about my little world. The Faithful Butterfly Project is slowly coming to life and my own metamorphosis is happening along side its development.
As an introvert with a highly systematic mind and a mild inability to focus (I’d say ADD but I’ve never been tested), life has proven a very interesting combination of struggle and joy. I like understanding things and making them work better, but I can be resistant to change. I enjoy helping people, but I’m not a huge fan of crowds or conflict. I work largely in “big picture” mode, but have to live in the moment. Do you see where I’m going with this? But, at the end of the day, I have always felt a pull to pursue my passion for helping others; some days it’s stronger than others, but it never truly goes away.
For years, I’ve talked to one of my oldest and dearest friends about my dilemma and she always quotes a certain bible verse back to me,
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7; New King James Version
I admit to being both comforted and annoyed by that bit of wisdom. But it always made me stop for a moment and think. To this day, she still gives me these same words of wisdom; and the longer I am on my journey, the more it means to me. Its more than just a general notice for us to not be afraid. It’s also an encouragement for us to pursue dreams that might be bigger than anything we know at the moment, taking us places we’ve never been (and would not naturally go otherwise) and exposing us to new experiences and lessons that would not otherwise be a part of our journey.
But, at the end of the day, we’ve been left with this little reminder to pursue our passions, not haphazardly, but with intention and focus. We have been reminded that we have the power in Him to do the things He has set in our heart and mind to have done. We are reminded that He will make all things work our for the best (even if we don’t understand them at the time). We are reminded that He loves us (even when we don’t love ourselves or feel that we are worthy of His love). And, last but not least, we are reminded that he gave us the ability to consider our actions and use the resources at our disposal to make informed decisions. We are not and never will be perfect; but He does not want the fact that we will make mistakes and have to learn along the way to stop us from pursuing the dreams He has set for us. If you have a dream, pursue it. Not with a closed mind, but with true purpose and passion. If you’re anything like me, your path will change and you learn and grow; but the end purpose of your dream will remain the same.
Twenty-twenty has proven to me that what I initially thought I was supposed to do may not be where I end up, but my purpose will still be fulfilled by the resource I am creating and the experiences I am having on my journey. What started out as Plan A has landed somewhere around Plan J with careful attention to the details of the things that I had learned along the way.
God has been faithful. He asks us to trust Him in our walk.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
There is nothing harder for an introvert set in her ways to do. But learning to do this (and to distinguish between my own thoughts and feelings and the guidance He provides) has brought me several of the greatest joys my life has offered. Notice I didn’t say happiness, but Joy. True joy isn’t a momentary feeling. It goes above that and carries with you through the good and the bad. It has also allowed me to better handle some of the disappointments and frustrations that come with our human existence. Life is not always going to go according to plan and sometimes things outside of your control will derail even your best intentions. But God is faithful. The path is not always easy; but He is always good.
May you find the blessings that only He can offer in your life as well.